good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize