I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
