Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
