I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
