When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
