Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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