I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Boobs speak an international language.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
