why didn't you poke me back
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
