I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
