she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Randomize
