laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
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