So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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