so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
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