dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
He better not be in your backpack
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Help me help you realize you are a moron
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize