thus making me awesome and them whores
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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