apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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