Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
