He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
