You're so nebulous sometimes
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
