We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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