The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
