Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
