So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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