Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
