do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Randomize