Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
