Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
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