So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I just blew my weed a kiss
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
