I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
