apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
