i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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