I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm always down for nudity.
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