Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I just want to make out with him forever
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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