i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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