I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
