i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize
