Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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