so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
