therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
