dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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