I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
