"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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