On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
