Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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