i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I'm too high and old for this...
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize