NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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