i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
