I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
