If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Randomize
