No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
