Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
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