For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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