The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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