Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
40s are totally the cure
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
