id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
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