ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
