you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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