what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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