If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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