i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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