PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize