its not stalking. its research.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
