Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
